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As expected, you get his machine. Someday, even the call of nature will be answered by a machine.

Tom Robbins

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Tom Robbins
Age: 92
Born: 1932
Born: July 22
Author
Autobiographer
Biographer
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Blowing Rock
North Carolina
Thomas Eugene Robbins
Machine
Humorous
Phones
Expected
Machines
Call
Telephones
Nature
Answered
Even
Someday

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Unhappiness is the ultimate form of self-indulgence.
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What an electric heater perched upon the rim of the bathtub of the world that dead Jesus was.
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This is the room of the wolfmother wallpaper.
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True stability results when presumed order and presumed disorder are balanced.
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Just because you're naked doesn't mean you're sexy. Just because you're cynical doesn't mean you're cool.
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Our world isn't made of earth, air and water or even molecules and atoms our world is made of language.
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It is what it is. You are what you it. There are no mistakes.
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Much scientific truth proved to be as hypothetical as poetic allegory. The relationshiip of those rod-connected blue and red balls to an actual atomic structure was about the same as the relationship of Christianity to the fish or the Lamb.
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Consider the silent repose of the sausage as compared to the aggressiveness of bacon.
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Are you aware that rushing toward a goal is a sublimated death wish? It's no coincidence we call them 'deadlines.'
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In the beginning was the thing. And one thing led to another.
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The most important thing in life is style. That is, the style of ones existence-the characteristic mode of ones actions-is basically, ultimately what matters. For if man defines himself by doing, then style is doubly definitive, because style describes the doing.
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I'll follow him to the ends of the earth,' she sobbed. Yes, darling. But the earth doesn't have any ends. Columbus fixed that.
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Never be afraid to love, not even when there's a chance you're not being loved in return.
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Get yourself in that extreme state of being next to madness. You should always write with an erection. Even if you're a woman.
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Society had a crime problem. It hired cops to attack crime. Now society has a cop problem.
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One of my books is a hallucinogen, an aphrodisiac, a mood elevator, an intellectual garage door opener, and a metaphysical trash compactor. They'll do everything except rotate your tires.
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We use so much bad language that it forms a barrier between ourselves and the truth.
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How can you admire a human who consciously embraces the bland, the mediocre, and the safe rather than risk the suffering that disappointment can bring?
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People write memoirs because they lack the imagination to make things up.
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