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She needed help, but God was in a meeting whenever she rang.

Tom Robbins

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Tom Robbins
Age: 92
Born: 1932
Born: July 22
Author
Autobiographer
Biographer
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Blowing Rock
North Carolina
Thomas Eugene Robbins
Meetings
Whenever
God
Rang
Needed
Telephones
Help
Perfume
Helping
Meeting
Humorous
Phones

More quotes by Tom Robbins

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Western civilization was declining too fast for comfort, but too slowly to be very exciting.
Tom Robbins
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I think when I'm 80 years old, 85, hopefully, I'll be pushed around in a wheelchair by a red-headed nurse with panty outline. She'll make me little tequila sunrises and I'll read my complete works then. Then, I'll decide whether I think I've done something good or not. I'll reserve my judgment until then.
Tom Robbins
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I have always been a romantic, one of those people who believes that a woman in pink circus tights contains all the secrets of the universe.
Tom Robbins
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In the beginning was the thing. And one thing led to another.
Tom Robbins
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When we accept small wonders, we qualify ourselves to imagine great wonders.
Tom Robbins
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Whatever goes wrong can be used to your advantage, providing it goes wrong enough.
Tom Robbins
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Outlaws, like lovers, poets, and tubercular composers who cough blood onto piano keys, do their finest work in the slippery rays of the moon.
Tom Robbins
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I'll bet I'm as old as you are. I'm older than Sanskrit. Well, I was waitress at the Last Supper. I'm so old I remember when McDonald's had only sold a hundred burgers. You win.
Tom Robbins
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Virtually every advancement made by our species since civilization first peeked out of its nest of stone has been initiated by lone individuals, mavericks who more often than not were ignored, mocked, or viciously persecuted by society and its institutions.
Tom Robbins
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The new wrinkle is that escalating advances in technology are nourishing the narcissistic ego the way chicken manure nourishes a rose bush, while exploding worldwide population is allowing its effects to multiply geometrically.
Tom Robbins
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Plato did claim that the unexamined life was not worth living. Oedipus Rex was not so sure.
Tom Robbins
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The beet is the most intense of vegetables
Tom Robbins
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Salvador Dali and fifty cents will get you a cup of clock melt.
Tom Robbins
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They fell asleep smiling. It is to erase the fixed smiles of sleeping couples that Satan trained roosters to crow at five in the morning.
Tom Robbins
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Employing women as my primary protagonists has allowed me to step outside of myself, to distance myself from my own personality, far more easily than were I to look at events from a masculine perspective.
Tom Robbins
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A lot of my work comes from what in Asia is called the 'mind of wonder.' There is not a lot of 'mind of wonder' writing in contemporary Western literature. I think that's what appeals to the readers who are my fans.
Tom Robbins
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You're better equipped for this world than I am, she said. I'm always trying to change the world. You know how to live in it.
Tom Robbins
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The price of self-destiny is never cheap, and in certain situations it is unthinkable. But to achieve the marvelous, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
Tom Robbins
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What an electric heater perched upon the rim of the bathtub of the world that dead Jesus was.
Tom Robbins
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Growing up is a trap, snapped Dr. Robbins. When they tell you to shut up, they mean stop talking. When they tell you to grow up, they mean stop growing. Reach a nice level plateau and settle there, predictable and unchanging, no longer a threat.
Tom Robbins