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America is a nation of 270 million people: 100 million of them are gangsters, another 100 million are hustlers, 50 million are complete lunatics, and every single one of us is secretly in show business. Isn't that fabulous?

Tom Robbins

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Tom Robbins
Age: 92
Born: 1932
Born: July 22
Author
Autobiographer
Biographer
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Blowing Rock
North Carolina
Thomas Eugene Robbins
People
Nations
Secretly
Show
Fabulous
Funny
Humorous
Business
Complete
Shows
Million
Another
Nation
Hustlers
America
Single
Lunatics
Every
Millions
Gangsters

More quotes by Tom Robbins

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The only bubble in the flat champagne of February is Valentine’s Day. It was no accident that our ancestors pinned Valentine’s Day on February’s shirt: he or she lucky enough to have a lover in frigid, antsy February has cause for celebration, indeed.
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Solace? That's why God made fermented beverages and the blues.
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It was autumn, the springtime of death. Rain spattered the rotting leaves, and a wild wind wailed. Death was singing in the shower. Death was happy to be alive. The fetus bailed out without a parachute. It landed in the sideline Astroturf, so upsetting the cheerleaders that for the remained of the afternoon their rahs were more like squeaks.
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When a culture is being dumbed down as effectively as ours is, its narrative arts (literature, film, theatre) seem to vacillate between the brutal and the bland, sometimes in the same work.
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Growing up is a trap, snapped Dr. Robbins. When they tell you to shut up, they mean stop talking. When they tell you to grow up, they mean stop growing. Reach a nice level plateau and settle there, predictable and unchanging, no longer a threat.
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Using words to describe magic is like using a screwdriver to cut roast beef.
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A sneeze travels at a peak velocity of two hundred miles per hour. A burp, more slowly a fart, slower yet. But a kiss thrown by fingers- its departure is sudden, its arrival ambiguous, and there is no source that can state with authority what speeds are reached in its flight.
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Be your own flying saucer! Rescue yourself!
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I went to a large consolidated school in Appalachia. And I wrote the story when I was in the second grade and I took it up to the third floor to the school newspaper office that was written and edited by juniors and seniors.
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Are you aware that rushing toward a goal is a sublimated death wish? It's no coincidence we call them 'deadlines.'
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Purpose! Purposes are for animals with a hell of a lot more dignity than the human race! Just hop on that strange torpedo and ride it to wherever it's going.
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The new wrinkle is that escalating advances in technology are nourishing the narcissistic ego the way chicken manure nourishes a rose bush, while exploding worldwide population is allowing its effects to multiply geometrically.
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Reality whistles a different tune underwater.
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You may tell the greatest lies and wear a brilliant disguise, but you can't escape the eyes of the one who sees right through you.
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I think science has begun to demonstrate that aging is a disease. If it is, it can be cured.
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A child's mind is its living room it's is going to be residing there for the rest of its earthly existence.
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Just because you're naked doesn't mean you're sexy. Just because you're cynical doesn't mean you're cool.
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You know what the game of golf is, don't you? It's basketball for people who can't jump and chess for people who can't think.
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Breathe properly. Stay curious. And eat your beets.
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Religion is not merely the opium of the masses, it's the cyanide.
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