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I'll bet I'm as old as you are. I'm older than Sanskrit. Well, I was waitress at the Last Supper. I'm so old I remember when McDonald's had only sold a hundred burgers. You win.

Tom Robbins

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Tom Robbins
Age: 92
Born: 1932
Born: July 22
Author
Autobiographer
Biographer
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Blowing Rock
North Carolina
Thomas Eugene Robbins
Well
Sold
Older
Hundred
Winning
Sanskrit
Lasts
Mcdonald
Last
Burgers
Remember
Waitress
Wells
Supper

More quotes by Tom Robbins

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Our world isn't made of earth, air and water or even molecules and atoms our world is made of language.
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Dreamily the Princess stood up. I'm not sure if I can walk, she said. Then I'll carry you. Is that what love is? I no longer know what love is. A week ago I had a lot of ideas. What love is and how to make it stay. Now that I'm in love, I haven't a clue. Now that I'm in love, I'm completely stupid on the subject.
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From the outside, my life may look chaotic, but inside I feel like some kind of monk licking an ice cream cone while straddling a runaway horse.
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You knows dat in New Orleans is not morning 'til dee sun come up.
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Of course I'm inconsistent! Only logicians and cretins are consistent!
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One of my books is a hallucinogen, an aphrodisiac, a mood elevator, an intellectual garage door opener, and a metaphysical trash compactor. They'll do everything except rotate your tires.
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You're better equipped for this world than I am, she said. I'm always trying to change the world. You know how to live in it.
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The Japanese have become so smitten with the Western condiment - its texture as silky as a kimono, its tang as understated as the tang of Zen - that today they have a word for mayonnaise junkie: mayora.
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Life is too small a container for certain individuals. Some of them, such as Alobar, huff and puff and try to expand the container. Others, such as Kudra, seek to pry the lid off and hop out.
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Bland writing - timid, antiseptic, vanilla writing - is nearly as unhealthy as the brutal and dark. Instead of sipping, say, elixir, nectar, tequila, or champagne, the reader is invited to slurp lumpy milk or choke on the author's dust bunnies.
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This did not annoy Amanda for it had long been her theory that human beings were invented by water as a device for transporting itself from one place to another.
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The only authority I respect is the one that causes butterflies to fly south in fall and north in springtime.
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This is the room where Jezebel frescoed her eyelids with history's tragic glitter
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My life is not merely a public phenomenon, it is a solitary adventure as well.
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We're making it up. The world, the universe, life, reality. Especially reality.
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The winter passed as slowly and peacefully as a boa constrictor digesting a valium addict.
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Whatever goes wrong can be used to your advantage, providing it goes wrong enough.
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Usually, autobiography is such an indulgence of the ego.
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A sneeze travels at a peak velocity of two hundred miles per hour. A burp, more slowly a fart, slower yet. But a kiss thrown by fingers- its departure is sudden, its arrival ambiguous, and there is no source that can state with authority what speeds are reached in its flight.
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There were no mail-order catalogues in 1492. Marco Polo's journal was the wish book of Renaissance Europe. Then, Columbus sailed the ocean blue and landed in Sears' basement. Despite all the Indians on the escalator, Columbus' visit came to be known as a discovery.
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