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I'll bet I'm as old as you are. I'm older than Sanskrit. Well, I was waitress at the Last Supper. I'm so old I remember when McDonald's had only sold a hundred burgers. You win.

Tom Robbins

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Tom Robbins
Age: 92
Born: 1932
Born: July 22
Author
Autobiographer
Biographer
Journalist
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Blowing Rock
North Carolina
Thomas Eugene Robbins
Hundred
Winning
Sanskrit
Lasts
Mcdonald
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Burgers
Remember
Waitress
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Supper
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More quotes by Tom Robbins

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I don't want to give the impression that I hold daily conversations with my household appliances, although my toaster is as old as Drew Barrymore and almost as talented.
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Consider the silent repose of the sausage as compared to the aggressiveness of bacon.
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Live the beauty or your own reality.
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When we can converse with the animals, we will know the change is halfway here. When we can converse with the forest, we will know the change has come.
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A hamburger is an icon of layered circles, the circle being at once the most spiritual and the most sensual of shapes.
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Reality is contradictory. And it's paradoxical. If there's any one word -- if you had to pick one word to describe the nature of the universe -- I think that word would be paradox. That's true at the subatomic level, right through sociological, psychological, philosophical levels on up to cosmic levels.
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I think science has begun to demonstrate that aging is a disease. If it is, it can be cured.
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True stability results when presumed order and presumed disorder are balanced.
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Philosophers have argued for centuries about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, but materialists have known all along that it depends on whether they are jitterbugging or dancing cheek to cheek.
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Who knows how to make love stay? Tell love you are going to the Junior's Deli on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn to pick up a cheesecake, and if love stays, it can have half.
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As any car freak will tell you, the old models are the most beautiful, even if they aren't the most efficient. People who sacrifice beauty for efficiency get what they deserve.
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Virtually every advancement made by our species since civilization first peeked out of its nest of stone has been initiated by lone individuals, mavericks who more often than not were ignored, mocked, or viciously persecuted by society and its institutions.
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Rules such as Write what you know, and Show, don't tell, while doubtlessly grounded in good sense, can be ignored with impunity by any novelist nimble enough to get away with it. There is, in fact, only one rule in writing fiction: Whatever works, works.
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You may tell the greatest lies and wear a brilliant disguise, but you can't escape the eyes of the one who sees right through you.
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I journey to the east, where I have been told, there are men who have taught death some manners.
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Life's an offensive proposition from beginning to end. Maybe those who can't tolerate offense ought to just go ahead and end it all, and maybe those who demand financial compensation for offense ought to have it ended for them.
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Our greatest human adventure is the evolution of consciousness. We are in this life to enlarge the soul, liberate the spirit, and light up the brain.
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I have always been a romantic, one of those people who believes that a woman in pink circus tights contains all the secrets of the universe.
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Those people who recognise that imagination is reality's master, we call sages, and those who act upon it, we call artists.
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Poetry, the best of it, is lunar and is concerned with the essential insanities. Journalism is solar (there are numerous newspapers named The Sun, none called The Moon) and is devoted to the inessential.
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