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I would only read the novels that people classify as 'beach books' if I were being held prisoner and the only alternative was the 'Book of Mormon.'

Tom Robbins

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Tom Robbins
Age: 92
Born: 1932
Born: July 22
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Blowing Rock
North Carolina
Thomas Eugene Robbins
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More quotes by Tom Robbins

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Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won't adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is sign on as its accomplice.
Tom Robbins
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…he glanced over his shoulder at her, regarding her, as he often did before they made love, as if she were a lost continent about to be rediscovered.
Tom Robbins
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Bland writing - timid, antiseptic, vanilla writing - is nearly as unhealthy as the brutal and dark. Instead of sipping, say, elixir, nectar, tequila, or champagne, the reader is invited to slurp lumpy milk or choke on the author's dust bunnies.
Tom Robbins
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I travel in gardens and bedrooms, basements and attics, around corners, through doorways and windows, along sidewalks, over carpets, down drainpipes, in the sky, with friends, lovers, children and heros perceived, remembered, imagined, distorted and clarified.
Tom Robbins
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Any half-awake materialist well knows - that which you hold holds you.
Tom Robbins
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In the beginning was the thing. And one thing led to another.
Tom Robbins
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I show up in my writing room at approximately 10 A.M. every morning without fail. Sometimes my muse sees fit to join me there and sometimes she doesn't, but she always knows where I'll be. She doesn't need to go hunting in the taverns or on the beach or drag the boulevard looking for me.
Tom Robbins
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Never be afraid to make a fool of yourself. The furthest out you can go is the best place to be.
Tom Robbins
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If you lack the iron and the fizz to take control of your own life, then the gods will repay your weakness by having a grin or two at your expense. Should you fail to pilot your own ship, don't be surprised at what inappropriate port you find yourself docked.
Tom Robbins
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A child's mind is its living room it's is going to be residing there for the rest of its earthly existence.
Tom Robbins
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Don't be outraged, be outrageous.
Tom Robbins
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What difference does it make if the Gospel is mostly a lie? It's an engrossing story and the words of its hero are excellent words to live by, even today.
Tom Robbins
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Meditation... dissolves the mind. It erases itself. Throws the ego out on its big brittle ass.
Tom Robbins
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Philosophers have argued for centuries about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, but materialists have known all along that it depends on whether they are jitterbugging or dancing cheek to cheek.
Tom Robbins
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Growing up is a trap, snapped Dr. Robbins. When they tell you to shut up, they mean stop talking. When they tell you to grow up, they mean stop growing. Reach a nice level plateau and settle there, predictable and unchanging, no longer a threat.
Tom Robbins
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The first time that she spread her legs for him it had been like opening her jaws for the dentist.
Tom Robbins
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Our purpose is to consciously, deliberately evolve towards a wiser, more liberated and luminous state of being.
Tom Robbins
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Life is like a stew, you have to stir it frequently, or all the scum rises to the top.
Tom Robbins
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Consider the silent repose of the sausage as compared to the aggressiveness of bacon.
Tom Robbins
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In East of Eden, John Steinbeck wrote that there's never been a great creative collaboration. When the Beatles first burst on the scene, I thought they were proving him wrong. Later, we learned that Lennon and McCartney had each composed their pop masterpieces separately, individually. So it goes.
Tom Robbins