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Be it ever so decadent, there's no place like home.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Decadent
Place
Home
Ever
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I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear.
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Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.
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Plagiarize! Plagiarize, Let no one else's work evade your eyes, Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, So don't shade your eyes, But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize... Only be sure always to call it please research.
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I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.
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The audiences like to think that satire is doing something. But, in fact, it is mostly to leave themselves satisfied. Satisfied rather than angry, which is what they should be.
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The audience usually has to be with you, I'm afraid. I always regarded myself as not even preaching to the converted, I was titillating the converted.
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The people who came to hear me perform or to buy my records were not the type who would be offended [by the song 'The Vatican Rag']. But I gather that there were other people who were offended.
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I've heard it quoted that I was dead. You can't believe anything you read. That was just an off-hand remark somebody picked up, and now it's been quoted and quoted, and therefore misquoted.
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When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here
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Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers.
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But in the new (math) approach, the important thing is to understand what you're doing, rather than to get the right answer.
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Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell!
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On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
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They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt, send the Marines.
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So long, Mom I'm off to drop the bomb So don't wait up for me But while you swelter Down there in your shelter You can see me On your TV
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Alas, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the so-called mass media. What we have now - to quote myself at my most pretentious - is a nimiety of scurrility with a concomitant exiguity of taste.
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I would do nightclubs and concerts - particularly concerts, which is mostly what I did - and only people who already agreed with me would show up. People weren't going to come and inadvertently turn on their television set and find this offensive stuff coming out.
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The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.
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Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
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