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When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Everything
Lewd
Correctly
Viewed

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The audiences like to think that satire is doing something. But, in fact, it is mostly to leave themselves satisfied. Satisfied rather than angry, which is what they should be.
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Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.
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Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
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Alas, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the so-called mass media. What we have now - to quote myself at my most pretentious - is a nimiety of scurrility with a concomitant exiguity of taste.
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Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think.
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Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
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Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught them a lesson in nineteen eighteen And they've hardly bothered us since then
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Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy.
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I wasn't really a performer by temperament.
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If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.
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They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt, send the Marines.
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And we will all go together when we go. What a comforting fact that is to know. Universal bereavement, An inspiring achievement, Yes, we will all go together when we go.
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We are the folk song army, every one of us cares. We all hate poverty, war, and injustice unlike the rest of you squares.
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Plagiarize! Plagiarize, Let no one else's work evade your eyes, Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, So don't shade your eyes, But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize... Only be sure always to call it please research.
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Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
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Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can't stand, You can tolerate him if you try!
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Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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Be it ever so decadent, there's no place like home.
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I didn't feel the need for anonymous affection, for people in the dark applauding. To me, it would be like writing a novel and then getting up every night and reading your novel. Everything I did is on the record and, if you want to hear it, just listen to the record.
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In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl now you can't say 'girl.'
Tom Lehrer