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When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Correctly
Viewed
Everything
Lewd

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We are the folk song army, every one of us cares. We all hate poverty, war, and injustice unlike the rest of you squares.
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Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.
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Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught them a lesson in nineteen eighteen And they've hardly bothered us since then
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On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
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Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price.
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I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
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The audiences like to think that satire is doing something. But, in fact, it is mostly to leave themselves satisfied. Satisfied rather than angry, which is what they should be.
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I wasn't really a performer by temperament.
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It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.
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So long, Mom I'm off to drop the bomb So don't wait up for me But while you swelter Down there in your shelter You can see me On your TV
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Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics/ And the Catholics hate the Protestants/ And the Hindus hate the Muslims/ And everybody hates the Jews.
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And we will all go together when we go. What a comforting fact that is to know. Universal bereavement, An inspiring achievement, Yes, we will all go together when we go.
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To me, being funny is more important than making a point, but I don't know. Most politicians are so interested in making points that they don't ... I'd rather be funny myself, and I'd rather listen to somebody with a little sense of humor.
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And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
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Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think.
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I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear.
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Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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Plagiarize! Plagiarize, Let no one else's work evade your eyes, Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, So don't shade your eyes, But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize... Only be sure always to call it please research.
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The audience usually has to be with you, I'm afraid. I always regarded myself as not even preaching to the converted, I was titillating the converted.
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In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl now you can't say 'girl.'
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