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The audiences like to think that satire is doing something. But, in fact, it is mostly to leave themselves satisfied. Satisfied rather than angry, which is what they should be.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Audience
Rather
Fact
Satire
Facts
Audiences
Something
Mostly
Think
Satisfied
Thinking
Angry
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Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy.
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I've heard it quoted that I was dead. You can't believe anything you read. That was just an off-hand remark somebody picked up, and now it's been quoted and quoted, and therefore misquoted.
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I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
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In one word he told me the secret of success in mathematics: plagiarize only be sure always to call it . . . research.
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And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
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So long, Mom I'm off to drop the bomb So don't wait up for me But while you swelter Down there in your shelter You can see me On your TV
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When you attend a funeral, It is sad to think that sooner o' Later those you love will do the same for you. And you may have thought it tragic, Not to mention other adjec- Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do. (But don't you worry.
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I wasn't really a performer by temperament.
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If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.
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We are the folk song army, every one of us cares. We all hate poverty, war, and injustice unlike the rest of you squares.
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Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
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Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
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The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.
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I'm not tempted to write a song about George W.Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. And that's not funny.
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Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think.
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Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can't stand, You can tolerate him if you try!
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Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell!
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Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics/ And the Catholics hate the Protestants/ And the Hindus hate the Muslims/ And everybody hates the Jews.
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For there is surely nothing more beautiful in this world than the sight of a lone man facing single-handedly a half a ton of angry pot roast!
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I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
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