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I'm not tempted to write a song about George W.Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. And that's not funny.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Would
Figures
Couldn
Sort
Puppeteers
Funny
Puppeteer
Song
Tempted
Write
George
Problem
Bush
Writing
Figure

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Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can't stand, You can tolerate him if you try!
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Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
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On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
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If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.
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I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
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When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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When someone makes a move Of which we don't approve, Who is it that always intervenes? U.N. and O.A.S., They have their place, I guess, But first send the Marines!
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And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
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And we will all go together when we go. What a comforting fact that is to know. Universal bereavement, An inspiring achievement, Yes, we will all go together when we go.
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It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.
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The people who came to hear me perform or to buy my records were not the type who would be offended [by the song 'The Vatican Rag']. But I gather that there were other people who were offended.
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If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.
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But in the new (math) approach, the important thing is to understand what you're doing, rather than to get the right answer.
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Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell!
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They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt, send the Marines.
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The audience usually has to be with you, I'm afraid. I always regarded myself as not even preaching to the converted, I was titillating the converted.
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To me, being funny is more important than making a point, but I don't know. Most politicians are so interested in making points that they don't ... I'd rather be funny myself, and I'd rather listen to somebody with a little sense of humor.
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Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics/ And the Catholics hate the Protestants/ And the Hindus hate the Muslims/ And everybody hates the Jews.
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If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here
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