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Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price.
Tom Lehrer
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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Nice
Moral
Solicit
Good
Percentage
Percentages
Sister
Manners
Price
Unless
More quotes by Tom Lehrer
To me, being funny is more important than making a point, but I don't know. Most politicians are so interested in making points that they don't ... I'd rather be funny myself, and I'd rather listen to somebody with a little sense of humor.
Tom Lehrer
I'm very proud of myself on my, whatever the literacy is, I'm pretentious, totally pretentious. I like to say 'hmm', for example.
Tom Lehrer
Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
Tom Lehrer
Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell!
Tom Lehrer
Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
Tom Lehrer
It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.
Tom Lehrer
Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
Tom Lehrer
Some of you may have met mathematicians and wondered how they got that way.
Tom Lehrer
Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think.
Tom Lehrer
I'm not tempted to write a song about George W.Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. And that's not funny.
Tom Lehrer
I've heard it quoted that I was dead. You can't believe anything you read. That was just an off-hand remark somebody picked up, and now it's been quoted and quoted, and therefore misquoted.
Tom Lehrer
And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
Tom Lehrer
My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun.
Tom Lehrer
Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers.
Tom Lehrer
Be it ever so decadent, there's no place like home.
Tom Lehrer
They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt, send the Marines.
Tom Lehrer
I didn't feel the need for anonymous affection, for people in the dark applauding. To me, it would be like writing a novel and then getting up every night and reading your novel. Everything I did is on the record and, if you want to hear it, just listen to the record.
Tom Lehrer
The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.
Tom Lehrer
When someone makes a move Of which we don't approve, Who is it that always intervenes? U.N. and O.A.S., They have their place, I guess, But first send the Marines!
Tom Lehrer
You can make fun with Saddam Hussein jokes ... but you can't make fun of, say, the concentration camps. I think my target was not so much evil, but benign stupidity people doing stupid things without realising or, instead, thinking they were doing good.
Tom Lehrer
