Quote

Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price.

Tom Lehrer

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Manners
Price
Unless
Nice
Moral
Solicit
Good
Percentage
Percentages
Sister

More quotes by Tom Lehrer

Image
Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air!
Tom Lehrer
Image
If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here
Tom Lehrer
Image
When someone makes a move Of which we don't approve, Who is it that always intervenes? U.N. and O.A.S., They have their place, I guess, But first send the Marines!
Tom Lehrer
Image
Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
Tom Lehrer
Image
When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
Tom Lehrer
Image
When you attend a funeral, It is sad to think that sooner o' Later those you love will do the same for you. And you may have thought it tragic, Not to mention other adjec- Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do. (But don't you worry.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Alas, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the so-called mass media. What we have now - to quote myself at my most pretentious - is a nimiety of scurrility with a concomitant exiguity of taste.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can't stand, You can tolerate him if you try!
Tom Lehrer
Image
Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught them a lesson in nineteen eighteen And they've hardly bothered us since then
Tom Lehrer
Image
Oh we will all fry together when we fry. We'll be french fried potatoes by and by. There will be no more misery When the world is our rotisserie, Yes, we will all fry together when we fry.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Plagiarize! Plagiarize, Let no one else's work evade your eyes, Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, So don't shade your eyes, But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize... Only be sure always to call it please research.
Tom Lehrer
Image
From the three, you then use one to make eight ones. You add those ones to the three, and you get one-three base eight, or, in other words, In base ten you have eleven, and you take away seven. And seven from eleven is four. Now go back to the sixty-fours, you're left with two.
Tom Lehrer
Image
If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics/ And the Catholics hate the Protestants/ And the Hindus hate the Muslims/ And everybody hates the Jews.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
Tom Lehrer
Image
The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.
Tom Lehrer
Image
But in the new (math) approach, the important thing is to understand what you're doing, rather than to get the right answer.
Tom Lehrer
Image
I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
Tom Lehrer