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My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
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Two
Fun
Also
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Exception
Littles
Friends
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Little
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Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.
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In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl now you can't say 'girl.'
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Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
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Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics/ And the Catholics hate the Protestants/ And the Hindus hate the Muslims/ And everybody hates the Jews.
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Life is like a sewer - what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. It's always seemed to me that this is precisely the sort of dynamic, positive thinking that we so desperately need today in these trying times of crisis and universal brouhaha.
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The people who came to hear me perform or to buy my records were not the type who would be offended [by the song 'The Vatican Rag']. But I gather that there were other people who were offended.
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But in the new (math) approach, the important thing is to understand what you're doing, rather than to get the right answer.
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I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
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Some of you may have met mathematicians and wondered how they got that way.
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You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango.
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The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.
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And we will all go together when we go. What a comforting fact that is to know. Universal bereavement, An inspiring achievement, Yes, we will all go together when we go.
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Plagiarize! Plagiarize, Let no one else's work evade your eyes, Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, So don't shade your eyes, But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize... Only be sure always to call it please research.
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I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.
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If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.
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Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can't stand, You can tolerate him if you try!
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Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
Tom Lehrer
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When you attend a funeral, It is sad to think that sooner o' Later those you love will do the same for you. And you may have thought it tragic, Not to mention other adjec- Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do. (But don't you worry.
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Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell!
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Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.
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