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The people who came to hear me perform or to buy my records were not the type who would be offended [by the song 'The Vatican Rag']. But I gather that there were other people who were offended.
Tom Lehrer
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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Type
Records
Hear
Came
Song
Vatican
Would
Gather
People
Offended
Perform
More quotes by Tom Lehrer
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
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The audience usually has to be with you, I'm afraid. I always regarded myself as not even preaching to the converted, I was titillating the converted.
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When you attend a funeral, It is sad to think that sooner o' Later those you love will do the same for you. And you may have thought it tragic, Not to mention other adjec- Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do. (But don't you worry.
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In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl now you can't say 'girl.'
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You can make fun with Saddam Hussein jokes ... but you can't make fun of, say, the concentration camps. I think my target was not so much evil, but benign stupidity people doing stupid things without realising or, instead, thinking they were doing good.
Tom Lehrer
When someone makes a move Of which we don't approve, Who is it that always intervenes? U.N. and O.A.S., They have their place, I guess, But first send the Marines!
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Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell!
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Be it ever so decadent, there's no place like home.
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Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy.
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And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
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Some of you may have met mathematicians and wondered how they got that way.
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In one word he told me the secret of success in mathematics: plagiarize only be sure always to call it . . . research.
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If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here
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Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers.
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Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear.
Tom Lehrer
I'm not tempted to write a song about George W.Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. And that's not funny.
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Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price.
Tom Lehrer
The audiences like to think that satire is doing something. But, in fact, it is mostly to leave themselves satisfied. Satisfied rather than angry, which is what they should be.
Tom Lehrer
To me, being funny is more important than making a point, but I don't know. Most politicians are so interested in making points that they don't ... I'd rather be funny myself, and I'd rather listen to somebody with a little sense of humor.
Tom Lehrer
