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The people who came to hear me perform or to buy my records were not the type who would be offended [by the song 'The Vatican Rag']. But I gather that there were other people who were offended.
Tom Lehrer
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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Came
Song
Vatican
Would
Gather
People
Offended
Perform
Type
Records
Hear
More quotes by Tom Lehrer
Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught them a lesson in nineteen eighteen And they've hardly bothered us since then
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If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.
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Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.
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Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics/ And the Catholics hate the Protestants/ And the Hindus hate the Muslims/ And everybody hates the Jews.
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Be it ever so decadent, there's no place like home.
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When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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Plagiarize! Plagiarize, Let no one else's work evade your eyes, Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, So don't shade your eyes, But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize... Only be sure always to call it please research.
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Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
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Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell!
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Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
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I'm not tempted to write a song about George W.Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. And that's not funny.
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The audience usually has to be with you, I'm afraid. I always regarded myself as not even preaching to the converted, I was titillating the converted.
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Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
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Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.
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Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can't stand, You can tolerate him if you try!
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I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear.
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For there is surely nothing more beautiful in this world than the sight of a lone man facing single-handedly a half a ton of angry pot roast!
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The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.
Tom Lehrer
You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango.
Tom Lehrer
Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
Tom Lehrer