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Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can't stand, You can tolerate him if you try!

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Step
Steps
Stand
Hand
Hands
Someone
Shake
Trying
Shakes
Tolerate

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Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air!
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When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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I didn't feel the need for anonymous affection, for people in the dark applauding. To me, it would be like writing a novel and then getting up every night and reading your novel. Everything I did is on the record and, if you want to hear it, just listen to the record.
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Life is like a sewer - what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. It's always seemed to me that this is precisely the sort of dynamic, positive thinking that we so desperately need today in these trying times of crisis and universal brouhaha.
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Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
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If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.
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I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.
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The people who came to hear me perform or to buy my records were not the type who would be offended [by the song 'The Vatican Rag']. But I gather that there were other people who were offended.
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I've heard it quoted that I was dead. You can't believe anything you read. That was just an off-hand remark somebody picked up, and now it's been quoted and quoted, and therefore misquoted.
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Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think.
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I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
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If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.
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If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here
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Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
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I would do nightclubs and concerts - particularly concerts, which is mostly what I did - and only people who already agreed with me would show up. People weren't going to come and inadvertently turn on their television set and find this offensive stuff coming out.
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In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl now you can't say 'girl.'
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Some of you may have met mathematicians and wondered how they got that way.
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When you attend a funeral, It is sad to think that sooner o' Later those you love will do the same for you. And you may have thought it tragic, Not to mention other adjec- Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do. (But don't you worry.
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I'm not tempted to write a song about George W.Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. And that's not funny.
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I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear.
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