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Plagiarize! Plagiarize, Let no one else's work evade your eyes, Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, So don't shade your eyes, But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize... Only be sure always to call it please research.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Remember
Research
Work
Please
Made
Eyes
Good
Call
Always
Sure
Plagiarize
Men
Lord
Evade
Eye
Plagiarism
Else
Shade

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Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can't stand, You can tolerate him if you try!
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We are the folk song army, every one of us cares. We all hate poverty, war, and injustice unlike the rest of you squares.
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The audiences like to think that satire is doing something. But, in fact, it is mostly to leave themselves satisfied. Satisfied rather than angry, which is what they should be.
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Life is like a sewer - what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. It's always seemed to me that this is precisely the sort of dynamic, positive thinking that we so desperately need today in these trying times of crisis and universal brouhaha.
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Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell!
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You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango.
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Oh we will all fry together when we fry. We'll be french fried potatoes by and by. There will be no more misery When the world is our rotisserie, Yes, we will all fry together when we fry.
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Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think.
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I've heard it quoted that I was dead. You can't believe anything you read. That was just an off-hand remark somebody picked up, and now it's been quoted and quoted, and therefore misquoted.
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I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
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Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price.
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I didn't feel the need for anonymous affection, for people in the dark applauding. To me, it would be like writing a novel and then getting up every night and reading your novel. Everything I did is on the record and, if you want to hear it, just listen to the record.
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Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
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Alas, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the so-called mass media. What we have now - to quote myself at my most pretentious - is a nimiety of scurrility with a concomitant exiguity of taste.
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Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.
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In one word he told me the secret of success in mathematics: plagiarize only be sure always to call it . . . research.
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I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
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And we will all go together when we go. What a comforting fact that is to know. Universal bereavement, An inspiring achievement, Yes, we will all go together when we go.
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If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.
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When someone makes a move Of which we don't approve, Who is it that always intervenes? U.N. and O.A.S., They have their place, I guess, But first send the Marines!
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