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Plagiarize! Plagiarize, Let no one else's work evade your eyes, Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, So don't shade your eyes, But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize... Only be sure always to call it please research.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Made
Eyes
Good
Call
Always
Sure
Plagiarize
Men
Lord
Evade
Eye
Plagiarism
Else
Shade
Remember
Research
Work
Please

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Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.
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But in the new (math) approach, the important thing is to understand what you're doing, rather than to get the right answer.
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Some of you may have met mathematicians and wondered how they got that way.
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They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt, send the Marines.
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Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think.
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To me, being funny is more important than making a point, but I don't know. Most politicians are so interested in making points that they don't ... I'd rather be funny myself, and I'd rather listen to somebody with a little sense of humor.
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The people who came to hear me perform or to buy my records were not the type who would be offended [by the song 'The Vatican Rag']. But I gather that there were other people who were offended.
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You can make fun with Saddam Hussein jokes ... but you can't make fun of, say, the concentration camps. I think my target was not so much evil, but benign stupidity people doing stupid things without realising or, instead, thinking they were doing good.
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When someone makes a move Of which we don't approve, Who is it that always intervenes? U.N. and O.A.S., They have their place, I guess, But first send the Marines!
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When you attend a funeral, It is sad to think that sooner o' Later those you love will do the same for you. And you may have thought it tragic, Not to mention other adjec- Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do. (But don't you worry.
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I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
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Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.
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For there is surely nothing more beautiful in this world than the sight of a lone man facing single-handedly a half a ton of angry pot roast!
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It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.
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On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
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In one word he told me the secret of success in mathematics: plagiarize only be sure always to call it . . . research.
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So long, Mom I'm off to drop the bomb So don't wait up for me But while you swelter Down there in your shelter You can see me On your TV
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And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
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If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.
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