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Plagiarize! Plagiarize, Let no one else's work evade your eyes, Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, So don't shade your eyes, But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize... Only be sure always to call it please research.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Work
Please
Made
Eyes
Good
Call
Always
Sure
Plagiarize
Men
Lord
Evade
Eye
Plagiarism
Else
Shade
Remember
Research

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They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt, send the Marines.
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You can make fun with Saddam Hussein jokes ... but you can't make fun of, say, the concentration camps. I think my target was not so much evil, but benign stupidity people doing stupid things without realising or, instead, thinking they were doing good.
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Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.
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To me, being funny is more important than making a point, but I don't know. Most politicians are so interested in making points that they don't ... I'd rather be funny myself, and I'd rather listen to somebody with a little sense of humor.
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When you attend a funeral, It is sad to think that sooner o' Later those you love will do the same for you. And you may have thought it tragic, Not to mention other adjec- Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do. (But don't you worry.
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In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl now you can't say 'girl.'
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Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can't stand, You can tolerate him if you try!
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Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
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If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.
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Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
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And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
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So long, Mom I'm off to drop the bomb So don't wait up for me But while you swelter Down there in your shelter You can see me On your TV
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I'm very proud of myself on my, whatever the literacy is, I'm pretentious, totally pretentious. I like to say 'hmm', for example.
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If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here
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Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think.
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Oh we will all fry together when we fry. We'll be french fried potatoes by and by. There will be no more misery When the world is our rotisserie, Yes, we will all fry together when we fry.
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You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango.
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If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.
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The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.
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The audiences like to think that satire is doing something. But, in fact, it is mostly to leave themselves satisfied. Satisfied rather than angry, which is what they should be.
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