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Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air!

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Hippie
Activism
Breathe
Air
Drink
Water

More quotes by Tom Lehrer

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Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price.
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Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
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My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun.
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Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
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I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear.
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The audiences like to think that satire is doing something. But, in fact, it is mostly to leave themselves satisfied. Satisfied rather than angry, which is what they should be.
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Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers.
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Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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But in the new (math) approach, the important thing is to understand what you're doing, rather than to get the right answer.
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The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.
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I've heard it quoted that I was dead. You can't believe anything you read. That was just an off-hand remark somebody picked up, and now it's been quoted and quoted, and therefore misquoted.
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And we will all go together when we go. What a comforting fact that is to know. Universal bereavement, An inspiring achievement, Yes, we will all go together when we go.
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It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.
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I would do nightclubs and concerts - particularly concerts, which is mostly what I did - and only people who already agreed with me would show up. People weren't going to come and inadvertently turn on their television set and find this offensive stuff coming out.
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In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl now you can't say 'girl.'
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You can make fun with Saddam Hussein jokes ... but you can't make fun of, say, the concentration camps. I think my target was not so much evil, but benign stupidity people doing stupid things without realising or, instead, thinking they were doing good.
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Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think.
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Alas, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the so-called mass media. What we have now - to quote myself at my most pretentious - is a nimiety of scurrility with a concomitant exiguity of taste.
Tom Lehrer
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When you attend a funeral, It is sad to think that sooner o' Later those you love will do the same for you. And you may have thought it tragic, Not to mention other adjec- Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do. (But don't you worry.
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If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here
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