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You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Dance
Nobody
Else
Like
Masochism
Tango
Raise
Raises
Dancing

More quotes by Tom Lehrer

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So long, Mom I'm off to drop the bomb So don't wait up for me But while you swelter Down there in your shelter You can see me On your TV
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I'm not tempted to write a song about George W.Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. And that's not funny.
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The audiences like to think that satire is doing something. But, in fact, it is mostly to leave themselves satisfied. Satisfied rather than angry, which is what they should be.
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Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price.
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I wasn't really a performer by temperament.
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Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy.
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And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
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Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
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Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air!
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I didn't feel the need for anonymous affection, for people in the dark applauding. To me, it would be like writing a novel and then getting up every night and reading your novel. Everything I did is on the record and, if you want to hear it, just listen to the record.
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Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
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Life is like a sewer - what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. It's always seemed to me that this is precisely the sort of dynamic, positive thinking that we so desperately need today in these trying times of crisis and universal brouhaha.
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Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics/ And the Catholics hate the Protestants/ And the Hindus hate the Muslims/ And everybody hates the Jews.
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Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can't stand, You can tolerate him if you try!
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When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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And we will all go together when we go. What a comforting fact that is to know. Universal bereavement, An inspiring achievement, Yes, we will all go together when we go.
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Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
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My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun.
Tom Lehrer
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If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.
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I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
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