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Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Sex
Everything
Mind
Lewd
Beholder
Filth
Correctly
Viewed
Glad

More quotes by Tom Lehrer

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Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
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The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.
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Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air!
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Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell!
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The audience usually has to be with you, I'm afraid. I always regarded myself as not even preaching to the converted, I was titillating the converted.
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Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy.
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Life is like a sewer - what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. It's always seemed to me that this is precisely the sort of dynamic, positive thinking that we so desperately need today in these trying times of crisis and universal brouhaha.
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You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango.
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In one word he told me the secret of success in mathematics: plagiarize only be sure always to call it . . . research.
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And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
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I would do nightclubs and concerts - particularly concerts, which is mostly what I did - and only people who already agreed with me would show up. People weren't going to come and inadvertently turn on their television set and find this offensive stuff coming out.
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Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.
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If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.
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I'm not tempted to write a song about George W.Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. And that's not funny.
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And we will all go together when we go. What a comforting fact that is to know. Universal bereavement, An inspiring achievement, Yes, we will all go together when we go.
Tom Lehrer
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Be it ever so decadent, there's no place like home.
Tom Lehrer
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Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught them a lesson in nineteen eighteen And they've hardly bothered us since then
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On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
Tom Lehrer
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I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
Tom Lehrer
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My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun.
Tom Lehrer