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Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Sex
Everything
Mind
Lewd
Beholder
Filth
Correctly
Viewed
Glad

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Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
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Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think.
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Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
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Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.
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I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear.
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If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.
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Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics/ And the Catholics hate the Protestants/ And the Hindus hate the Muslims/ And everybody hates the Jews.
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In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl now you can't say 'girl.'
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In one word he told me the secret of success in mathematics: plagiarize only be sure always to call it . . . research.
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Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught them a lesson in nineteen eighteen And they've hardly bothered us since then
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It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.
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When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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The people who came to hear me perform or to buy my records were not the type who would be offended [by the song 'The Vatican Rag']. But I gather that there were other people who were offended.
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If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.
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I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
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Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
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Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price.
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Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can't stand, You can tolerate him if you try!
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Be it ever so decadent, there's no place like home.
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And we will all go together when we go. What a comforting fact that is to know. Universal bereavement, An inspiring achievement, Yes, we will all go together when we go.
Tom Lehrer