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I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Lips
Dear
Touch
Much
Masochism
Whips
Ache

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Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers.
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Some of you may have met mathematicians and wondered how they got that way.
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Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.
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Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
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And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
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I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.
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I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
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It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.
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If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.
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For there is surely nothing more beautiful in this world than the sight of a lone man facing single-handedly a half a ton of angry pot roast!
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In one word he told me the secret of success in mathematics: plagiarize only be sure always to call it . . . research.
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Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.
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Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy.
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Be it ever so decadent, there's no place like home.
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If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.
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We are the folk song army, every one of us cares. We all hate poverty, war, and injustice unlike the rest of you squares.
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When you attend a funeral, It is sad to think that sooner o' Later those you love will do the same for you. And you may have thought it tragic, Not to mention other adjec- Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do. (But don't you worry.
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If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here
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When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun.
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