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I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Bypass
Adolescence
Maturity
Went
Trying
Senility

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Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
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It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.
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And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
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For there is surely nothing more beautiful in this world than the sight of a lone man facing single-handedly a half a ton of angry pot roast!
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Be it ever so decadent, there's no place like home.
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When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.
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I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
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We are the folk song army, every one of us cares. We all hate poverty, war, and injustice unlike the rest of you squares.
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If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.
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I'm not tempted to write a song about George W.Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. And that's not funny.
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My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun.
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I wasn't really a performer by temperament.
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On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
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Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell!
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When you attend a funeral, It is sad to think that sooner o' Later those you love will do the same for you. And you may have thought it tragic, Not to mention other adjec- Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do. (But don't you worry.
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I'm very proud of myself on my, whatever the literacy is, I'm pretentious, totally pretentious. I like to say 'hmm', for example.
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I've heard it quoted that I was dead. You can't believe anything you read. That was just an off-hand remark somebody picked up, and now it's been quoted and quoted, and therefore misquoted.
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In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl now you can't say 'girl.'
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