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Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught them a lesson in nineteen eighteen And they've hardly bothered us since then

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Happen
Germans
Prayer
Eighteen
Since
Bothered
Happens
Lesson
Mean
Hardly
Lessons
Couldn
Warlike
Taught
Nineteen

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Alas, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the so-called mass media. What we have now - to quote myself at my most pretentious - is a nimiety of scurrility with a concomitant exiguity of taste.
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You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango.
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Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.
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Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.
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I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear.
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But in the new (math) approach, the important thing is to understand what you're doing, rather than to get the right answer.
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Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
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If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.
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They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt, send the Marines.
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On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
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When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
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I've heard it quoted that I was dead. You can't believe anything you read. That was just an off-hand remark somebody picked up, and now it's been quoted and quoted, and therefore misquoted.
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Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think.
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For there is surely nothing more beautiful in this world than the sight of a lone man facing single-handedly a half a ton of angry pot roast!
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Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell!
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Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics/ And the Catholics hate the Protestants/ And the Hindus hate the Muslims/ And everybody hates the Jews.
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