Quote

Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught them a lesson in nineteen eighteen And they've hardly bothered us since then

Tom Lehrer

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Happen
Germans
Prayer
Eighteen
Since
Bothered
Happens
Lesson
Mean
Hardly
Lessons
Couldn
Warlike
Taught
Nineteen

More quotes by Tom Lehrer

Image
I would do nightclubs and concerts - particularly concerts, which is mostly what I did - and only people who already agreed with me would show up. People weren't going to come and inadvertently turn on their television set and find this offensive stuff coming out.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
Tom Lehrer
Image
If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here
Tom Lehrer
Image
You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango.
Tom Lehrer
Image
When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
Tom Lehrer
Image
The people who came to hear me perform or to buy my records were not the type who would be offended [by the song 'The Vatican Rag']. But I gather that there were other people who were offended.
Tom Lehrer
Image
I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
Tom Lehrer
Image
I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear.
Tom Lehrer
Image
I didn't feel the need for anonymous affection, for people in the dark applauding. To me, it would be like writing a novel and then getting up every night and reading your novel. Everything I did is on the record and, if you want to hear it, just listen to the record.
Tom Lehrer
Image
When someone makes a move Of which we don't approve, Who is it that always intervenes? U.N. and O.A.S., They have their place, I guess, But first send the Marines!
Tom Lehrer
Image
It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Be it ever so decadent, there's no place like home.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think.
Tom Lehrer
Image
The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Plagiarize! Plagiarize, Let no one else's work evade your eyes, Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, So don't shade your eyes, But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize... Only be sure always to call it please research.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Some of you may have met mathematicians and wondered how they got that way.
Tom Lehrer
Image
The audience usually has to be with you, I'm afraid. I always regarded myself as not even preaching to the converted, I was titillating the converted.
Tom Lehrer
Image
And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
Tom Lehrer