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Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Stupid
Question
Answers
Asks
Wells
Well
Silly
Answer

More quotes by Tom Lehrer

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So long, Mom I'm off to drop the bomb So don't wait up for me But while you swelter Down there in your shelter You can see me On your TV
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Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
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When you attend a funeral, It is sad to think that sooner o' Later those you love will do the same for you. And you may have thought it tragic, Not to mention other adjec- Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do. (But don't you worry.
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Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air!
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They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt, send the Marines.
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You can make fun with Saddam Hussein jokes ... but you can't make fun of, say, the concentration camps. I think my target was not so much evil, but benign stupidity people doing stupid things without realising or, instead, thinking they were doing good.
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Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can't stand, You can tolerate him if you try!
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Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price.
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Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics/ And the Catholics hate the Protestants/ And the Hindus hate the Muslims/ And everybody hates the Jews.
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It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.
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If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here
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I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear.
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We are the folk song army, every one of us cares. We all hate poverty, war, and injustice unlike the rest of you squares.
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If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.
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I'm not tempted to write a song about George W.Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. And that's not funny.
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Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
Tom Lehrer
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Alas, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the so-called mass media. What we have now - to quote myself at my most pretentious - is a nimiety of scurrility with a concomitant exiguity of taste.
Tom Lehrer
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On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
Tom Lehrer
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Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy.
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Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers.
Tom Lehrer