Quote

If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Loved
Strike
Song
Strikes
Human
Hearing
Humans
Inspired
Something
Songs
Friend
Worth
Perhaps
Nasty

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I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
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Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price.
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Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers.
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Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught them a lesson in nineteen eighteen And they've hardly bothered us since then
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If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.
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When you attend a funeral, It is sad to think that sooner o' Later those you love will do the same for you. And you may have thought it tragic, Not to mention other adjec- Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do. (But don't you worry.
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When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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I would do nightclubs and concerts - particularly concerts, which is mostly what I did - and only people who already agreed with me would show up. People weren't going to come and inadvertently turn on their television set and find this offensive stuff coming out.
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Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
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Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy.
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Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air!
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So long, Mom I'm off to drop the bomb So don't wait up for me But while you swelter Down there in your shelter You can see me On your TV
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I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.
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Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.
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And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
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In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl now you can't say 'girl.'
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They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt, send the Marines.
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