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Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics/ And the Catholics hate the Protestants/ And the Hindus hate the Muslims/ And everybody hates the Jews.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Hates
Muslims
Jews
Jew
Catholic
Everybody
Hindus
Religion
Catholics
Hate
Protestants

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It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.
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On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
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Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
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Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
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You can make fun with Saddam Hussein jokes ... but you can't make fun of, say, the concentration camps. I think my target was not so much evil, but benign stupidity people doing stupid things without realising or, instead, thinking they were doing good.
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I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear.
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In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl now you can't say 'girl.'
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I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
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But in the new (math) approach, the important thing is to understand what you're doing, rather than to get the right answer.
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Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy.
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Plagiarize! Plagiarize, Let no one else's work evade your eyes, Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, So don't shade your eyes, But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize... Only be sure always to call it please research.
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Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.
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The people who came to hear me perform or to buy my records were not the type who would be offended [by the song 'The Vatican Rag']. But I gather that there were other people who were offended.
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So long, Mom I'm off to drop the bomb So don't wait up for me But while you swelter Down there in your shelter You can see me On your TV
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