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Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.
Tom Lehrer
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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Quite
Oath
Anyone
Disagree
Also
Preparation
Anything
Humorous
Ever
Insane
Disclaimer
Deny
Disclaimers
Profound
Retract
Prepared
Disagrees
More quotes by Tom Lehrer
The people who came to hear me perform or to buy my records were not the type who would be offended [by the song 'The Vatican Rag']. But I gather that there were other people who were offended.
Tom Lehrer
I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
Tom Lehrer
Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.
Tom Lehrer
The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.
Tom Lehrer
Life is like a sewer - what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. It's always seemed to me that this is precisely the sort of dynamic, positive thinking that we so desperately need today in these trying times of crisis and universal brouhaha.
Tom Lehrer
I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear.
Tom Lehrer
When someone makes a move Of which we don't approve, Who is it that always intervenes? U.N. and O.A.S., They have their place, I guess, But first send the Marines!
Tom Lehrer
My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun.
Tom Lehrer
I wasn't really a performer by temperament.
Tom Lehrer
Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
Tom Lehrer
It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.
Tom Lehrer
From the three, you then use one to make eight ones. You add those ones to the three, and you get one-three base eight, or, in other words, In base ten you have eleven, and you take away seven. And seven from eleven is four. Now go back to the sixty-fours, you're left with two.
Tom Lehrer
Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can't stand, You can tolerate him if you try!
Tom Lehrer
I'm not tempted to write a song about George W.Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. And that's not funny.
Tom Lehrer
Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
Tom Lehrer
I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.
Tom Lehrer
Oh we will all fry together when we fry. We'll be french fried potatoes by and by. There will be no more misery When the world is our rotisserie, Yes, we will all fry together when we fry.
Tom Lehrer
Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers.
Tom Lehrer
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
Tom Lehrer
Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air!
Tom Lehrer
