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Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.
Tom Lehrer
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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Prepared
Disagrees
Quite
Oath
Anyone
Disagree
Also
Preparation
Anything
Humorous
Ever
Insane
Disclaimer
Deny
Disclaimers
Profound
Retract
More quotes by Tom Lehrer
I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
Tom Lehrer
If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.
Tom Lehrer
Be it ever so decadent, there's no place like home.
Tom Lehrer
I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.
Tom Lehrer
You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango.
Tom Lehrer
When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
Tom Lehrer
Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
Tom Lehrer
The audiences like to think that satire is doing something. But, in fact, it is mostly to leave themselves satisfied. Satisfied rather than angry, which is what they should be.
Tom Lehrer
Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.
Tom Lehrer
Plagiarize! Plagiarize, Let no one else's work evade your eyes, Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, So don't shade your eyes, But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize... Only be sure always to call it please research.
Tom Lehrer
Some of you may have met mathematicians and wondered how they got that way.
Tom Lehrer
And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
Tom Lehrer
Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell!
Tom Lehrer
In one word he told me the secret of success in mathematics: plagiarize only be sure always to call it . . . research.
Tom Lehrer
Life is like a sewer - what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. It's always seemed to me that this is precisely the sort of dynamic, positive thinking that we so desperately need today in these trying times of crisis and universal brouhaha.
Tom Lehrer
Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
Tom Lehrer
Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
Tom Lehrer
Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can't stand, You can tolerate him if you try!
Tom Lehrer
But in the new (math) approach, the important thing is to understand what you're doing, rather than to get the right answer.
Tom Lehrer
It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.
Tom Lehrer