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Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Prepared
Disagrees
Quite
Oath
Anyone
Disagree
Also
Preparation
Anything
Humorous
Ever
Insane
Disclaimer
Deny
Disclaimers
Profound
Retract

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I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
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If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.
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Be it ever so decadent, there's no place like home.
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I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.
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You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango.
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When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
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The audiences like to think that satire is doing something. But, in fact, it is mostly to leave themselves satisfied. Satisfied rather than angry, which is what they should be.
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Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.
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Plagiarize! Plagiarize, Let no one else's work evade your eyes, Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, So don't shade your eyes, But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize... Only be sure always to call it please research.
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Some of you may have met mathematicians and wondered how they got that way.
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And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
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Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell!
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In one word he told me the secret of success in mathematics: plagiarize only be sure always to call it . . . research.
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Life is like a sewer - what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. It's always seemed to me that this is precisely the sort of dynamic, positive thinking that we so desperately need today in these trying times of crisis and universal brouhaha.
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Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
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Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
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Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can't stand, You can tolerate him if you try!
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But in the new (math) approach, the important thing is to understand what you're doing, rather than to get the right answer.
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It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.
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