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If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
People
Root
Commit
Roots
Touch
Commitment
Whether
Two
Square
Anything
Squares

More quotes by Tom Lehrer

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For there is surely nothing more beautiful in this world than the sight of a lone man facing single-handedly a half a ton of angry pot roast!
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We are the folk song army, every one of us cares. We all hate poverty, war, and injustice unlike the rest of you squares.
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I'm very proud of myself on my, whatever the literacy is, I'm pretentious, totally pretentious. I like to say 'hmm', for example.
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Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price.
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Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.
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My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun.
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In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl now you can't say 'girl.'
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Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers.
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Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught them a lesson in nineteen eighteen And they've hardly bothered us since then
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Alas, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the so-called mass media. What we have now - to quote myself at my most pretentious - is a nimiety of scurrility with a concomitant exiguity of taste.
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I wasn't really a performer by temperament.
Tom Lehrer
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So long, Mom I'm off to drop the bomb So don't wait up for me But while you swelter Down there in your shelter You can see me On your TV
Tom Lehrer
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Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can't stand, You can tolerate him if you try!
Tom Lehrer
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You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango.
Tom Lehrer
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Be it ever so decadent, there's no place like home.
Tom Lehrer
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Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell!
Tom Lehrer
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I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.
Tom Lehrer
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From the three, you then use one to make eight ones. You add those ones to the three, and you get one-three base eight, or, in other words, In base ten you have eleven, and you take away seven. And seven from eleven is four. Now go back to the sixty-fours, you're left with two.
Tom Lehrer
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To me, being funny is more important than making a point, but I don't know. Most politicians are so interested in making points that they don't ... I'd rather be funny myself, and I'd rather listen to somebody with a little sense of humor.
Tom Lehrer
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The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.
Tom Lehrer