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If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here
Tom Lehrer
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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
People
Root
Commit
Roots
Touch
Commitment
Whether
Two
Square
Anything
Squares
More quotes by Tom Lehrer
Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
Tom Lehrer
Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
Tom Lehrer
When someone makes a move Of which we don't approve, Who is it that always intervenes? U.N. and O.A.S., They have their place, I guess, But first send the Marines!
Tom Lehrer
You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango.
Tom Lehrer
You can make fun with Saddam Hussein jokes ... but you can't make fun of, say, the concentration camps. I think my target was not so much evil, but benign stupidity people doing stupid things without realising or, instead, thinking they were doing good.
Tom Lehrer
If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.
Tom Lehrer
Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught them a lesson in nineteen eighteen And they've hardly bothered us since then
Tom Lehrer
Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy.
Tom Lehrer
Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.
Tom Lehrer
And we will all go together when we go. What a comforting fact that is to know. Universal bereavement, An inspiring achievement, Yes, we will all go together when we go.
Tom Lehrer
The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.
Tom Lehrer
Alas, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the so-called mass media. What we have now - to quote myself at my most pretentious - is a nimiety of scurrility with a concomitant exiguity of taste.
Tom Lehrer
Be it ever so decadent, there's no place like home.
Tom Lehrer
I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.
Tom Lehrer
Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air!
Tom Lehrer
They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt, send the Marines.
Tom Lehrer
When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
Tom Lehrer
Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
Tom Lehrer
And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
Tom Lehrer
The audience usually has to be with you, I'm afraid. I always regarded myself as not even preaching to the converted, I was titillating the converted.
Tom Lehrer