Quote

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here

Tom Lehrer

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Whether
Two
Square
Anything
Squares
People
Root
Commit
Roots
Touch
Commitment

More quotes by Tom Lehrer

Image
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
Tom Lehrer
Image
They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt, send the Marines.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Plagiarize! Plagiarize, Let no one else's work evade your eyes, Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, So don't shade your eyes, But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize... Only be sure always to call it please research.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Oh we will all fry together when we fry. We'll be french fried potatoes by and by. There will be no more misery When the world is our rotisserie, Yes, we will all fry together when we fry.
Tom Lehrer
Image
When you attend a funeral, It is sad to think that sooner o' Later those you love will do the same for you. And you may have thought it tragic, Not to mention other adjec- Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do. (But don't you worry.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
Tom Lehrer
Image
In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl now you can't say 'girl.'
Tom Lehrer
Image
I didn't feel the need for anonymous affection, for people in the dark applauding. To me, it would be like writing a novel and then getting up every night and reading your novel. Everything I did is on the record and, if you want to hear it, just listen to the record.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
Tom Lehrer
Image
My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun.
Tom Lehrer
Image
When someone makes a move Of which we don't approve, Who is it that always intervenes? U.N. and O.A.S., They have their place, I guess, But first send the Marines!
Tom Lehrer
Image
To me, being funny is more important than making a point, but I don't know. Most politicians are so interested in making points that they don't ... I'd rather be funny myself, and I'd rather listen to somebody with a little sense of humor.
Tom Lehrer
Image
And we will all go together when we go. What a comforting fact that is to know. Universal bereavement, An inspiring achievement, Yes, we will all go together when we go.
Tom Lehrer
Image
I would do nightclubs and concerts - particularly concerts, which is mostly what I did - and only people who already agreed with me would show up. People weren't going to come and inadvertently turn on their television set and find this offensive stuff coming out.
Tom Lehrer
Image
I'm not tempted to write a song about George W.Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. And that's not funny.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.
Tom Lehrer
Image
Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think.
Tom Lehrer
Image
If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.
Tom Lehrer