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Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Good
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Sarcastic
Cute
Deeds
Careful
Watching
Funny

More quotes by Tom Lehrer

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I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.
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Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think.
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And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
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The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.
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Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.
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I wasn't really a performer by temperament.
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Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy.
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Be it ever so decadent, there's no place like home.
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I'm not tempted to write a song about George W.Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. And that's not funny.
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I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
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Alas, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the so-called mass media. What we have now - to quote myself at my most pretentious - is a nimiety of scurrility with a concomitant exiguity of taste.
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Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught them a lesson in nineteen eighteen And they've hardly bothered us since then
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Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
Tom Lehrer
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From the three, you then use one to make eight ones. You add those ones to the three, and you get one-three base eight, or, in other words, In base ten you have eleven, and you take away seven. And seven from eleven is four. Now go back to the sixty-fours, you're left with two.
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Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can't stand, You can tolerate him if you try!
Tom Lehrer
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Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price.
Tom Lehrer
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Some of you may have met mathematicians and wondered how they got that way.
Tom Lehrer
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Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air!
Tom Lehrer
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Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.
Tom Lehrer
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Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.
Tom Lehrer