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Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Funny
Good
Appease
Sarcastic
Cute
Deeds
Careful
Watching

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When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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In one word he told me the secret of success in mathematics: plagiarize only be sure always to call it . . . research.
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I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
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The audiences like to think that satire is doing something. But, in fact, it is mostly to leave themselves satisfied. Satisfied rather than angry, which is what they should be.
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The audience usually has to be with you, I'm afraid. I always regarded myself as not even preaching to the converted, I was titillating the converted.
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So long, Mom I'm off to drop the bomb So don't wait up for me But while you swelter Down there in your shelter You can see me On your TV
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Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air!
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They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt, send the Marines.
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Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell!
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I'm very proud of myself on my, whatever the literacy is, I'm pretentious, totally pretentious. I like to say 'hmm', for example.
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I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.
Tom Lehrer
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Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
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Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think.
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I've heard it quoted that I was dead. You can't believe anything you read. That was just an off-hand remark somebody picked up, and now it's been quoted and quoted, and therefore misquoted.
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We are the folk song army, every one of us cares. We all hate poverty, war, and injustice unlike the rest of you squares.
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To me, being funny is more important than making a point, but I don't know. Most politicians are so interested in making points that they don't ... I'd rather be funny myself, and I'd rather listen to somebody with a little sense of humor.
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I didn't feel the need for anonymous affection, for people in the dark applauding. To me, it would be like writing a novel and then getting up every night and reading your novel. Everything I did is on the record and, if you want to hear it, just listen to the record.
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If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here
Tom Lehrer
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Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy.
Tom Lehrer