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Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Rockets
Cares
Department
Song
Science
Care
Come

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The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.
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I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.
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Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy.
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Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
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Oh we will all fry together when we fry. We'll be french fried potatoes by and by. There will be no more misery When the world is our rotisserie, Yes, we will all fry together when we fry.
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Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.
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On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
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I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
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And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
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Plagiarize! Plagiarize, Let no one else's work evade your eyes, Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, So don't shade your eyes, But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize... Only be sure always to call it please research.
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Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
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And we will all go together when we go. What a comforting fact that is to know. Universal bereavement, An inspiring achievement, Yes, we will all go together when we go.
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When someone makes a move Of which we don't approve, Who is it that always intervenes? U.N. and O.A.S., They have their place, I guess, But first send the Marines!
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When you attend a funeral, It is sad to think that sooner o' Later those you love will do the same for you. And you may have thought it tragic, Not to mention other adjec- Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do. (But don't you worry.
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Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
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For there is surely nothing more beautiful in this world than the sight of a lone man facing single-handedly a half a ton of angry pot roast!
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Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers.
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Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air!
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In one word he told me the secret of success in mathematics: plagiarize only be sure always to call it . . . research.
Tom Lehrer
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I wasn't really a performer by temperament.
Tom Lehrer