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It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Dead
Age
Two
Thought
Years
Sobering
Mozart
Aging

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Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
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I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
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If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.
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Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
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And we will all go together when we go. What a comforting fact that is to know. Universal bereavement, An inspiring achievement, Yes, we will all go together when we go.
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Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.
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In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl now you can't say 'girl.'
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When you attend a funeral, It is sad to think that sooner o' Later those you love will do the same for you. And you may have thought it tragic, Not to mention other adjec- Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do. (But don't you worry.
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And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
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If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here
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To me, being funny is more important than making a point, but I don't know. Most politicians are so interested in making points that they don't ... I'd rather be funny myself, and I'd rather listen to somebody with a little sense of humor.
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Step up and shake the hand Of someone you can't stand, You can tolerate him if you try!
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Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.
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Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.
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The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.
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I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
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