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It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Thought
Years
Sobering
Mozart
Aging
Dead
Age
Two

More quotes by Tom Lehrer

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Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.
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Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.
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Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics/ And the Catholics hate the Protestants/ And the Hindus hate the Muslims/ And everybody hates the Jews.
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Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell!
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And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
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Once all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught them a lesson in nineteen eighteen And they've hardly bothered us since then
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You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango.
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Oh we will all fry together when we fry. We'll be french fried potatoes by and by. There will be no more misery When the world is our rotisserie, Yes, we will all fry together when we fry.
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You can make fun with Saddam Hussein jokes ... but you can't make fun of, say, the concentration camps. I think my target was not so much evil, but benign stupidity people doing stupid things without realising or, instead, thinking they were doing good.
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Some of you may have met mathematicians and wondered how they got that way.
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The audiences like to think that satire is doing something. But, in fact, it is mostly to leave themselves satisfied. Satisfied rather than angry, which is what they should be.
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On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
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If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here
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When you attend a funeral, It is sad to think that sooner o' Later those you love will do the same for you. And you may have thought it tragic, Not to mention other adjec- Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do. (But don't you worry.
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Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
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The people who came to hear me perform or to buy my records were not the type who would be offended [by the song 'The Vatican Rag']. But I gather that there were other people who were offended.
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Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
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Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air!
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I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.
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