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It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Aging
Dead
Age
Two
Thought
Years
Sobering
Mozart

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Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
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Be it ever so decadent, there's no place like home.
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When someone makes a move Of which we don't approve, Who is it that always intervenes? U.N. and O.A.S., They have their place, I guess, But first send the Marines!
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And although I'm all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I'm not willing to go to jail for.
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I didn't feel the need for anonymous affection, for people in the dark applauding. To me, it would be like writing a novel and then getting up every night and reading your novel. Everything I did is on the record and, if you want to hear it, just listen to the record.
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Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
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Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy.
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In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl now you can't say 'girl.'
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Life is like a sewer - what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. It's always seemed to me that this is precisely the sort of dynamic, positive thinking that we so desperately need today in these trying times of crisis and universal brouhaha.
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I've heard it quoted that I was dead. You can't believe anything you read. That was just an off-hand remark somebody picked up, and now it's been quoted and quoted, and therefore misquoted.
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Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.
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They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt, send the Marines.
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My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun.
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I wasn't really a performer by temperament.
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From the three, you then use one to make eight ones. You add those ones to the three, and you get one-three base eight, or, in other words, In base ten you have eleven, and you take away seven. And seven from eleven is four. Now go back to the sixty-fours, you're left with two.
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On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
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You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango.
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We are the folk song army, every one of us cares. We all hate poverty, war, and injustice unlike the rest of you squares.
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If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.
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