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I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

Tom Lehrer

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Tom Lehrer
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: April 9
Lyricist
Mathematician
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
University Teacher
New York City
New York
Thomas Andrew Lehrer
Thomas Lehrer
Feels
Humor
Problems
Least
Funny
Problem
Communicating
Persons
Shut
Person
Communicate
Feel
Communication

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In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl now you can't say 'girl.'
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Be it ever so decadent, there's no place like home.
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Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell!
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To me, being funny is more important than making a point, but I don't know. Most politicians are so interested in making points that they don't ... I'd rather be funny myself, and I'd rather listen to somebody with a little sense of humor.
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In one word he told me the secret of success in mathematics: plagiarize only be sure always to call it . . . research.
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You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango.
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It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.
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I'm not tempted to write a song about George W.Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. And that's not funny.
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The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.
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Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air!
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Oh we will all fry together when we fry. We'll be french fried potatoes by and by. There will be no more misery When the world is our rotisserie, Yes, we will all fry together when we fry.
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When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.
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Some of you may have met mathematicians and wondered how they got that way.
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Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think.
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Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.
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The people who came to hear me perform or to buy my records were not the type who would be offended [by the song 'The Vatican Rag']. But I gather that there were other people who were offended.
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Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
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We are the folk song army, every one of us cares. We all hate poverty, war, and injustice unlike the rest of you squares.
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I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
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Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
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