Not only had he lost the only girl he'd ever loved, he'd lost her in duplicate, like some heartbroken but highly efficient civil servant.

Genies rarely have nightmares, for the same reason that elephants don't usually worry about being trampled underfoot. With the possible exception of bottles, there's nothing in the cosmos large enough or malicious enough to frighten them, or stupid enough to try.

I try and do 2,500 words a day, every day of the year

Human beings can get used to virtually anything, given plenty of time and no choice in the matter whatsoever.

Lawyers are predators in grey worsted

New technology is useful, but it's inefficient and ugly it knows it'll be obsolete by lunchtime tomorrow, so it has no incentive to be anything else

Luck, like a Russian car, generally only works if you push it.

Love is an optical illusion that makes you believe the object of your affection is the most beautiful person in the world.

I don't read the Sunday papers or the dailies, either

After all, what else is scientific enquiry of any sort other than a controlled version of banging one's head against the universe until something gives?

At any given time, ninety-nine-point-nine-five per cent of the human race are a confounded nuisance

American-style iced tea is the perfect drink for a hot