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I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.

Tina Fey

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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
Librettist
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
Dedicate
Drinking
Full
Going
Time

More quotes by Tina Fey

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You transition as a mother from literally just pulling a booger out of that person's nose whenever you see one until at some point they assert: No, I'm a person. You can't fix my underpants on the subway.
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I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria's Secret. There would be no Dior.
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A wise friend once told me, 'Don't wear what fashion designers tell you to wear. Wear what they wear.'
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It's hard to get laughs when you're new.
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I have two daughters, and we live here in Manhattan, and having gone through the Manhattan kindergarten application process, nothing will ever rival the stress of that.
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Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am all about money. I mean, just look how well my line of zodiac-inspired toe rings and homeopathic children's medications are selling on Home Shopping Network.
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After college, I knew I wanted to work in comedy, so the first thing I did was go to where the comedy was. I moved from Charlottesville to Chicago, because that's where The Second City and Improv Olympics are. You have to go wherever you need to go to study what interests you.
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I have a suspicion that the definition of crazy in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to f*** [sleep with her] anymore.
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This is what I tell young women who ask me for career advice. People are going to try to trick you. To make you feel that you are in competition with one another. You're up for a promotion. If they go for a woman, it'll be between you and Barbara. Don't be fooled. You're not in competition with other women. You're in competition with everyone.
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For most women, the success of conservative women is good for all of us, unless you believe in evolution. Actually, I take it back. The whole thing is a disaster.
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Last night the Taliban offered to release eight Westerners if the U.S. promised not to attack. The State Department declined but thanked the Taliban for the offer, saying it really felt good to laugh again.
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You can't control things by being nervous.
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30 Rock is a little different from other current sitcoms, in that it's fast-paced, but the pace comes from the actors, not the editing.
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Pentagon records show that at least 8,000 members of the all-volunteer U.S. Army have deserted since the Iraq war began. Hey, at least somebody has an exit strategy.
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Sometimes I'll be telling my husband, 'I think I'm cracking up'. Sometimes you just need a minute to say, 'I think I'm cracking' and just acknowledge it.
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You don't just decide to destroy a person by making up stuff, and no one at 'SNL' is writing to go after someone.
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I was wearing my best Gap turtleneck and my dates were two adult lesbians, so yea, I was pretty cool.
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Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.
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It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring on live TV.
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Sometimes if you have a difficult decisin to make, just stall until the answer presents itself.
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