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Last night the Taliban offered to release eight Westerners if the U.S. promised not to attack. The State Department declined but thanked the Taliban for the offer, saying it really felt good to laugh again.

Tina Fey

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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
Librettist
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
Last
Offer
Declined
Felt
Eight
Thanked
Night
Laugh
Westerners
States
Offers
Promised
Really
Laughing
Offered
Good
Saying
Department
State
Attack
Lasts
Release

More quotes by Tina Fey

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You can be a little bit darker and rougher on the stage, partly because when you're in the theater, people have come to see you, and so they kind of know what they're in for. In television, you are sort of sneaking into people's homes. So, I think you can be a little bit darker on stage.
Tina Fey
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There are so many quiet times you spend as a mother that aren't glorified but are a foundation for your kids. No matter what, there was always a thick safety net under this trapeze.
Tina Fey
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Life is improvisation. All of those [improv] classes were like church to me. The training had seeped into me and changed who I am.
Tina Fey
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You're not in competition with other women. You're in competition with everyone.
Tina Fey
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Only in comedy, by the way, does an obedient white girl from the suburbs count as diversity.
Tina Fey
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Pentagon records show that at least 8,000 members of the all-volunteer U.S. Army have deserted since the Iraq war began. Hey, at least somebody has an exit strategy.
Tina Fey
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It is less dangerous to draw a cartoon of Allah French-kissing Uncle Sam — which, let me make it very clear, I have not done — than it is to speak honestly about [working moms].
Tina Fey
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It has been said that to write is to live forever. The man who said that is dead.
Tina Fey
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It's like being a little kid again, parading around in a nightgown tucked into your underpants, believing it looks terrific.
Tina Fey
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You can't control things by being nervous.
Tina Fey
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My parents raised me that you never ask people about their reproductive plans. “You don’t know their situation,” my mom would say. I considered it such an impolite question that for years I didn’t even ask myself. Thirty-five turned into forty faster than McDonald’s food turns into cold nonfood.
Tina Fey
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I don't like a tremendous amount of conflict. I don't think that fighting and passion are the same thing.
Tina Fey
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I am extremely square and obedient in nature!
Tina Fey
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Gravity”: “It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die then spend one more minute with a woman his own age.
Tina Fey
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You can fix it as soon as you get up - you brush and use mouthwash - but there’s something about knowing you woke up with hot-mothball mouth that makes you feel old. I think God designed our mouths to die first to help us slowly transition to the grave.
Tina Fey
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In response to the escalating violence in Iraq, President Bush is delaying the return home of 25,000 troops and will actually add reinforcements to the south. Then in a symbolic gesture he pulled down the mission accomplished banner, put on a flight suit, walked backwards to a jet fighter and flew it in reverse off an aircraft carrier.
Tina Fey
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Never tell a crazy person he’s crazy.
Tina Fey
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I found the recording sessions very freeing because you can really try things. When you're filming something, if you're improvising a film and you're wasting film and wasting a cameraman's time.
Tina Fey
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Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion, just thinking foolishly that you will be able to do what you want to do
Tina Fey
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Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue. In what other profession would you brag about not knowing stuff? “I’m not one of those fancy Harvard heart surgeons. I’m just an unlicensed plumber with a dream and I’d like to cut your chest open.” The crowd cheers.
Tina Fey