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I never get to go to movies, because I'm a mom.

Tina Fey

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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
Librettist
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
Mom
Movies
Never

More quotes by Tina Fey

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Last night the Taliban offered to release eight Westerners if the U.S. promised not to attack. The State Department declined but thanked the Taliban for the offer, saying it really felt good to laugh again.
Tina Fey
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You can't control things by being nervous.
Tina Fey
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Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.
Tina Fey
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You transition as a mother from literally just pulling a booger out of that person's nose whenever you see one until at some point they assert: No, I'm a person. You can't fix my underpants on the subway.
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I had my hair in a ponytail and looked my trademark exhausted.
Tina Fey
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It's not vanity, because if you look weird, it will distract from what your trying to do. If you look as good as you can, people will be able to pay attention to what your actually saying.
Tina Fey
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Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.
Tina Fey
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If you want to be a screenwriter, take an acting class to get a sense of what you're asking actors to do. Learning other skills will help you communicate with people and respect what they do.
Tina Fey
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What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn't used to have to do that. But now I do.
Tina Fey
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Sometimes I'll be telling my husband, 'I think I'm cracking up'. Sometimes you just need a minute to say, 'I think I'm cracking' and just acknowledge it.
Tina Fey
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Whenever you see me, I'm on antique quaaludes.
Tina Fey
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To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.
Tina Fey
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I keep my eyes on the sea, waiting to be rocketed into it on a wave of fire. I'll be ready for it to happen and that way it won't happen. It's a burden, being able to control situations with my hyper-vigilance, but its my lot in life.
Tina Fey
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I have no affinity for animals. I don’t hate animals and I would never hurt an animal I just don’t actively care about them. When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.
Tina Fey
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Only in comedy, by the way, does an obedient white girl from the suburbs count as diversity.
Tina Fey
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I guess what I would tell women is to get their education first, before having kids. That way they can keep their options open down the road. I also think that it shouldn't necessarily be an issue just for women, that men should be part of the stay-home discussion too.
Tina Fey
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A wise friend once told me, 'Don't wear what fashion designers tell you to wear. Wear what they wear.'
Tina Fey
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You’re in competition with everyone.
Tina Fey
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The only way I could get comfortable around people was to make them laugh.
Tina Fey
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I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria's Secret. There would be no Dior.
Tina Fey