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At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment.

Tina Fey

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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
Librettist
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
Funny
Catholic
Orgy
Three
Spent
Request
Sex
Cleaning
Humor
Friday
Instead
Apartment
Church
Weekend
Lasts
Near
Rio
Last
Held
Cancelled

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Even when I was at 'SNL,' I didn't do impersonations. I always wanted to be the kind of person who could do them - I always thought they were the coolest thing on the show - but I didn't have any experience.
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Quentin Tarantino is here, star of all my sexual nightmares.
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Don't waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions... Do your thing and don't care if they like it.
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I have no affinity for animals. I don’t hate animals and I would never hurt an animal I just don’t actively care about them. When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.
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An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women's Affairs. Man, who'd she have to show here ankles to to get that job?
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Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
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George Clooney married Amal Alamuddin this year. Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case, was an advisor to Kofi Annan regarding Syria, and was selected for a three-person commission investigating rules of war violation in the Gaza Strip. So tonight, her husband is getting a lifetime achievement award.
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My problem with the traditional acting method was that I never understood what you were supposed to be thinking about when you're onstage.
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I found the recording sessions very freeing because you can really try things. When you're filming something, if you're improvising a film and you're wasting film and wasting a cameraman's time.
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I am extremely square and obedient in nature!
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I had to get back to work... NBC has me under contract the baby and I only have a verbal agreement.
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Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue. In what other profession would you brag about not knowing stuff? “I’m not one of those fancy Harvard heart surgeons. I’m just an unlicensed plumber with a dream and I’d like to cut your chest open.” The crowd cheers.
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Finally the world would see my full range of comedy characters - from grouchy librarian to Russian librarian.
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Twitter seems like a busman's holiday: just more writing. I have no plans to do it. I'll just stick with my 24/7 webcam. I'm old-fashioned that way.
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