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Pentagon records show that at least 8,000 members of the all-volunteer U.S. Army have deserted since the Iraq war began. Hey, at least somebody has an exit strategy.

Tina Fey

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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
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Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
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Deserted
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More quotes by Tina Fey

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You can be a little bit darker and rougher on the stage, partly because when you're in the theater, people have come to see you, and so they kind of know what they're in for. In television, you are sort of sneaking into people's homes. So, I think you can be a little bit darker on stage.
Tina Fey
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When you go into something where you can really trust that everyone has thought about it, more than you have even, then that's like a gift.
Tina Fey
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After college, I knew I wanted to work in comedy, so the first thing I did was go to where the comedy was. I moved from Charlottesville to Chicago, because that's where The Second City and Improv Olympics are. You have to go wherever you need to go to study what interests you.
Tina Fey
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If a bout of creepy face sets in, the trick is to look away from the camera between shots and turn back only when necessary. This also limits how much of your soul the camera can steal.
Tina Fey
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I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria's Secret. There would be no Dior.
Tina Fey
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The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. Everyone else is struggling.
Tina Fey
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Sometimes I'll be telling my husband, 'I think I'm cracking up'. Sometimes you just need a minute to say, 'I think I'm cracking' and just acknowledge it.
Tina Fey
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The eyes are the window to where the soul is supposed to be.
Tina Fey
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(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)
Tina Fey
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It doesn't matter if it's a school play or a dumb TV show. It's your work. You should care about it so much that people get annoyed with you.
Tina Fey
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Quentin Tarantino is here, star of all my sexual nightmares.
Tina Fey
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You can fix it as soon as you get up - you brush and use mouthwash - but there’s something about knowing you woke up with hot-mothball mouth that makes you feel old. I think God designed our mouths to die first to help us slowly transition to the grave.
Tina Fey
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Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.
Tina Fey
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I don't like a tremendous amount of conflict. I don't think that fighting and passion are the same thing.
Tina Fey
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Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one.
Tina Fey
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When humor works, it works because it's clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.
Tina Fey
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I really love cursing a lot. But as I get older, I realize it's a little unseemly for women of a certain age.
Tina Fey
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Only in comedy, by the way, does an obedient white girl from the suburbs count as diversity.
Tina Fey
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What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn't used to have to do that. But now I do.
Tina Fey
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It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring on live TV.
Tina Fey