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I want every day to be the most boring news day ever. I want every day to be about spelling bee champions and baby basketball. It's better to have no comedy material than a horrific news day.
Tina Fey
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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
Librettist
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
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Spelling
News
Horrific
Baby
Champions
Bees
Comedy
Champion
Better
Boring
Ever
Material
Every
Basketball
More quotes by Tina Fey
The comedy for the Democrats is that they're showing off too much. They need to be putting a boring white guy out there to kind of get a hold of things. Once the boring white guy is out there, then you bust out the junior senator from Illinois who smokes and does cocaine.
Tina Fey
It's hard to get laughs when you're new.
Tina Fey
At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment.
Tina Fey
This is what I tell young women who ask me for career advice. People are going to try to trick you. To make you feel that you are in competition with one another. You're up for a promotion. If they go for a woman, it'll be between you and Barbara. Don't be fooled. You're not in competition with other women. You're in competition with everyone.
Tina Fey
If everyone had a dad like mine, no one would have sex tapes.
Tina Fey
I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.
Tina Fey
A willingness to drop your ego and let yourself look foolish. You almost have to enjoy looking vulnerable. You'd be surprised how many people don't want to do that.
Tina Fey
It doesn't matter if it's a school play or a dumb TV show. It's your work. You should care about it so much that people get annoyed with you.
Tina Fey
Quentin Tarantino is here, star of all my sexual nightmares.
Tina Fey
Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.
Tina Fey
Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am all about money. I mean, just look how well my line of zodiac-inspired toe rings and homeopathic children's medications are selling on Home Shopping Network.
Tina Fey
Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
Tina Fey
I guess what I would tell women is to get their education first, before having kids. That way they can keep their options open down the road. I also think that it shouldn't necessarily be an issue just for women, that men should be part of the stay-home discussion too.
Tina Fey
I never get to go to movies, because I'm a mom.
Tina Fey
A new poll showed that 66% of Americans think President Bush is doing a poor job handling the war in Iraq and the remaining 34% think that Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church.
Tina Fey
My parents raised me that you never ask people about their reproductive plans. “You don’t know their situation,” my mom would say. I considered it such an impolite question that for years I didn’t even ask myself. Thirty-five turned into forty faster than McDonald’s food turns into cold nonfood.
Tina Fey
This requires a level of delusion/egomania usually reserved for popes and drag queens
Tina Fey
Instead of trying to fit an impossible ideal, I took a personal inventory of all my healthy body parts for which I am grateful: Straight Greek eyebrows. They start at the hairline at my temple and, left unchecked, will grow straight across my face and onto yours.
Tina Fey
I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria's Secret. There would be no Dior.
Tina Fey
I'm still technically employed by the National Broadcasting Company.
Tina Fey
