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If everyone had a dad like mine, no one would have sex tapes.

Tina Fey

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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
Librettist
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
Mine
Sex
Everyone
Would
Like
Tapes
Tape
Dad
Mines

More quotes by Tina Fey

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In real life, people in the most dire situations must cope through humor.
Tina Fey
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Somewhere around the fifth or seventh grade I figured out that I could ingratiate myself to people by making them laugh. Essentially, I was just trying to make them like me. But after a while it became part of my identity.
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You must not look in that mirror at your doughy legs and flat feet, for today is about dreams and illusions, and unfiltered natural daylight is the enemy of dreams.
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This worked out perfectly for me in college, because what nineteen-year-old Virginia boy doesn't want a wide-hipped, sarcastic Greek girl with short hair that's permed on top? What's that you say? None of them want that? You are correct.
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30 Rock is a little different from other current sitcoms, in that it's fast-paced, but the pace comes from the actors, not the editing.
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When you go into something where you can really trust that everyone has thought about it, more than you have even, then that's like a gift.
Tina Fey
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I have two daughters, and we live here in Manhattan, and having gone through the Manhattan kindergarten application process, nothing will ever rival the stress of that.
Tina Fey
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Your characters should be as smart as you are, if not smarter.
Tina Fey
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When I first set out to ruin SNL, I didn't think anyone would notice, but I persevered because - like you trying to do a nine-piece jigsaw puzzle - it was a labour of love.
Tina Fey
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I have no affinity for animals. I don’t hate animals and I would never hurt an animal I just don’t actively care about them. When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.
Tina Fey
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Saudi Arabian police arrested seven teenage boys for leering at women. In accordance with Saudi law, the boys will be whipped and the women will be stoned to death.
Tina Fey
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Steve Carell's Foxcatcher look took two hours to put on, including his hairstyling and make up. Just for comparison, it took me three hours today to prepare for my role as human woman.
Tina Fey
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I guess what I would tell women is to get their education first, before having kids. That way they can keep their options open down the road. I also think that it shouldn't necessarily be an issue just for women, that men should be part of the stay-home discussion too.
Tina Fey
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I have a suspicion that the definition of crazy in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to f*** [sleep with her] anymore.
Tina Fey
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Anne Hathaway you gave a stunning performance in Les Miserables. I have not seen someone so totally alone and abandoned like that since you were onstage with James Franco at the Oscars.
Tina Fey
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I think part of picking where you live in New York is accepting who you are. Really looking at yourself and going, 'Yeah, I'm not cool enough for the West Village.'
Tina Fey
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My mom wanted me to apply to Princeton, cause she just I guess since I was a kid had this dream that I would apply to Princeton, and it was not happening.
Tina Fey
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North Korea referred to The Interview as absolutely intolerable and a wanton act of terror. Even more amazing: not the worst review the movie got.
Tina Fey
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This requires a level of delusion/egomania usually reserved for popes and drag queens
Tina Fey
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Yeah, it's tough being smart and sexy, too. I have to say, I'm really not that attractive. Until I met my husband, I could not get a date. I promise you it's true. My husband Jeff Richmond saw a diamond in the rough and took me in.
Tina Fey