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The comedy for the Democrats is that they're showing off too much. They need to be putting a boring white guy out there to kind of get a hold of things. Once the boring white guy is out there, then you bust out the junior senator from Illinois who smokes and does cocaine.

Tina Fey

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Tina Fey
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: May 18
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Producer
Improviser
Librettist
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Upper Darby Township
Pennsylvania
Elizabeth Stamatina Tina Fey
Elizabeth Stamatina Fey
Doe
Smoke
Illinois
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Democrat
Junior
Needs
Putting
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Much
Boring
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Kind
Hold
Cocaine
Things
Comedy
Senators
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Showing
Smokes
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More quotes by Tina Fey

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I have no affinity for animals. I don’t hate animals and I would never hurt an animal I just don’t actively care about them. When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.
Tina Fey
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There are a couple of things I want to impart to ladies who want to be in comedy: One, you don’t have to be weird or be quirky to get your job done. And two, comedy skill is not sexually transmittable. You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.
Tina Fey
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Don't waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions... Do your thing and don't care if they like it.
Tina Fey
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You can be a little bit darker and rougher on the stage, partly because when you're in the theater, people have come to see you, and so they kind of know what they're in for. In television, you are sort of sneaking into people's homes. So, I think you can be a little bit darker on stage.
Tina Fey
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Tracy: Stop eating people's old french fries, little pigeon. Have some self-respect. Don't you know you can fly?
Tina Fey
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Wafah Dufour bin Laden, niece of Osama bin Laden has signed a contract to star in a reality show... called Skating with the Nieces of Terrorists.
Tina Fey
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You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.
Tina Fey
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Steve Carell's Foxcatcher look took two hours to put on, including his hairstyling and make up. Just for comparison, it took me three hours today to prepare for my role as human woman.
Tina Fey
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I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria's Secret. There would be no Dior.
Tina Fey
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When you go into something where you can really trust that everyone has thought about it, more than you have even, then that's like a gift.
Tina Fey
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This worked out perfectly for me in college, because what nineteen-year-old Virginia boy doesn't want a wide-hipped, sarcastic Greek girl with short hair that's permed on top? What's that you say? None of them want that? You are correct.
Tina Fey
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Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.
Tina Fey
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I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.
Tina Fey
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The eyes are the window to where the soul is supposed to be.
Tina Fey
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You can't control things by being nervous.
Tina Fey
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Never tell a crazy person he’s crazy.
Tina Fey
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Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one.
Tina Fey
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Saudi Arabian police arrested seven teenage boys for leering at women. In accordance with Saudi law, the boys will be whipped and the women will be stoned to death.
Tina Fey
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Somewhere around the fifth or seventh grade I figured out that I could ingratiate myself to people by making them laugh. Essentially, I was just trying to make them like me. But after a while it became part of my identity.
Tina Fey
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This requires a level of delusion/egomania usually reserved for popes and drag queens
Tina Fey